Will no one think of the tourists! - What to do if stranded in DC

photo by Mike ShowalterI know, I know, I'm supposed to finish up my discussion of African Americans at Arlington. I'll get to it, but for those of you who may not be paying attention, those of us in DC have been a little busy recently. As I write this, the snow has started again here in the Nation's Capital, and supplies of milk and humor are running low. Fortunately, we're still have some reserve stocks of beer, or things could be looking desperate.

I spent the first few days of this white nightmare holed up in my friend's place in Maryland; after staging an impromptu reenactment of the fall of Saigon with my two kids, getting out of here as the storm hit. Thanks to them, I still can make at least a tenuous claim to sanity, but I couldn't avoid heading home forever. After a few days of hanging out with three dogs and five children under five, and passing the time shoveling four hundred feet of driveway; we took advantage of the brief window between blizzards to bust our way back into DC yesterday.

So what's this got to do with visiting DC? I mean, who would be trying to visit us right now? And even if you wanted to, it would be virtually impossible to get here, as my wife has been finding out this last week. But what if you're weekend trip to DC was this week, and you're spending some more time here than planned? This doesn't happen often, but what do you do in DC when all the stuff you came to DC for is canceled?

So, in the off chance some of our visitors are trying to make lemonade out of yellow snow, let me give them a hand.

1. Transportation - You brought it with you! That's right, those two appendages sticking down from your pelvis. Just about everything else is going to be shut down or unreliable. Buses go fairly early, outside some main routes. Metro rail will stay open until we get about eight inches, then the above-ground stations will shut down. Even on the underground lines, be prepared for some serious headways (time between trains). And you have very little business driving in DC in the best of times, much less now. Cabs will still run in most weather, but will be scarce. Watch the meter, they're not allowed to charge more than 25% in a snow emergency. So focus on exploring the area around where you're staying and/or near open Metro stops.

2. What's open? Right now, precious little. In most cases, once the above ground lines shut down, the museums will follow suit, as it's hard to get staff in and out. One exception I've noticed: the Newseum has been persistently open these last few days, and Air and Space and Natural History were open today. Everything else has been more or less shut down since Friday (feel free to let me know if I'm wrong in the comments). The monuments shut down during the heavy winds, but if you're up for a good winter hike, I strongly recommend a stroll down to see them. The Korean Memorial is particularly striking in the snow.

3. So, if all the touristy stuff is shut down, then what? Despite some well publicized problems, I strongly recommend a good snowball fight. If you can't get a pick-up one going, blogs and twitter feeds are a good way to find out where folks are meeting up. This time around, good ones got going at Dupont Circle, the Mall, and Lincoln Park on Capitol Hill. You can also grab a piece of cardboard and go sledding. I personally like Capitol Hill, a traditional favorite. The only trick is avoiding the Capitol Police. Some are cool, some are, well, not.

4. And finally, you'll need a place to warm up. I find that locally operated places tend to do a better job of staying open than chains and such. For example, my personal favorite, Peregrine Coffee near Eastern Market is routinely fueling my habit while the Starbucks a block over might as well board up. So rather than head downtown, try Eastern Market,Dupont Circle, or some other Metro accessible neighborhood where the most of both the clientele and the staff normally walks there (and will to get out of the house!).

Ideally, you're reading this back home in some relatively less snowy place like Buffalo, but if you are stuck in DC, I hope this helps.

You Can't Get There From Here: Udvar-Hazy

Stephanie from Colorado recently asked: "How does one get to the Udvar-Hazy Center if (as you fervently suggest) a tourist does not have a car?"

Well, Stephanie, you got me. The best, and just about only, way to get to the Air and Space's expansion near Dulles Airport is by car. As I enjoy the view from being hoisted by my own petard, let's talk a second about Udvar-Hazy. No, not the Hungarian born aircraft leasing tycoon who donated the money, but rather the Museum named after him.

It may be the coolest museum for aviation junkies in the world. It's phenomenally well designed, with row after row of world changing aircraft stretching as far as the eye can see. To give you a sense of it's scale, the Space Shuttle is housed in a relatively small offshoot of the main gallery. Yes, the Space Shuttle (Enterprise, the one that was just a flight test platform). The Museum's collection of 163 airplanes is ably housed in its main hanger without being crowded, all the more impressive when you consider that among these planes is a 707, a B-29, SR-71, and a Concorde; hardly small planes. And to cap it off, the observation tower gives you a bird's eye view of operations at Dulles, which is particularly cool when the 747s are coming in from Europe and Asia.

But it's a pain to get to. If you have a car, just head out the Dulles Toll Road, follow the signs, shell out $15 for parking, and enjoy. Without it, you're almost, but not entirely, out of luck. First off, don't even bother with the Metro Authority's trip planner. Or if you do, let me know how you got it to work. I'm stumped. But you can take the 5A bus (pdf) to Dulles Airport. From there, look for the Virginia Regional Transit's shuttle bus to Udvar-Hazy and the Dulles Town Center. As the shuttle runs hourly, this could mean that a trip from DC to the Museum could take up to two hours. One way. It'd be easier to fly there.

As inconvenient as it is to get to, I have a hard time getting too irate at the Smithsonian for this. The Air and Space Museum has a tough curatorial challenge. Nearly by definition, their collection is going to contain pieces that are much, much larger than pretty much any of the other museums. I imagine when they hang out at curator bars (much like biker bars but with more tweed and less leather), they taunt the guys from Natural History. What? Must be tough building a case for a whole diamond? Do you have to put in special supports for that? Meanwhile, the guys from the Postal Museum hunker down in the corner, trying not to be noticed.

So as large as the Air and Space Museum on the Mall is; to properly conserve and show their collection the Museum needs a facility with even more space. And, of course, as the best way to get a several ton airplane somewhere is to fly it, the location near Dulles makes a certain amount of sense.

No my ire is reserved for the car-is-the-wave-of-the-future 1950's planners who put Washington, DC's airport 26 miles outside of downtown DC. Heck, West Virginia Dulles International Airport would be almost as accurate as Washington Dulles. Construction is underway on a new Metro line to Dulles and I am cautiously optimistic that it will be built in the next couple of decades.

Until then, I'd have to say, you probably won't want to include the Udvar-Hazy Center in your plans unless you have access to a car, want to shell out for a taxi, or happen to be flying in or out of Dulles Airport.

NOTE: Stephanie also asked about a shuttle between the two Air and Space Museums that was mentioned in her 2009 (?!) guidebook. Don't fall for it, that was discontinued in 2006.

Metro to the Mall

I'm going to have to ask my local readers to bear with me here, but there's some important info I haven't shared yet with our out of town guests.

I think, by now, most visitors have gotten the word about not driving to the National Mall. It's possible, I guess, and people do it, but you're more likely to see Obama than find parking anywhere close to the Museums. And, to indulge in a tangent for a second, if you are that lovely couple from New Jersey who decided to take do it yourself parallel parking lessons in front of the Smithsonian, than let me tell you that the bus honking at you was mine. I got to ask you, what made you think the parking fairy was going to help you on the 16th try? There's no shame in not knowing how to parallel park, there is in blocking traffic for half of downtown DC.

Whew, now that that's out of my system, let's focus on some actual useful advice. Everyone always says "take Metro to the Smithsonians" and folks naturally assume that the Smithsonian stop is the one to get off of at. However, the "Smithsonian" is a gigantic institution that sprawls from the base of the Capitol to the shadow of the Washington Monument, well over a mile in distance. Due to the proximity of several Metro stations, the Smithsonian station may not be your best stop.

Much depends on what line you are taking to the Mall. Consult your friendly Metro Map, first. The Blue, Orange, Yellow, and Green lines all cross under the Mall. If you are taking the Yellow line into the city, for example, it does little good to get off L'Enfant Plaza, wait ten minutes for a transfer to the Blue/Orange Line, get off at Smithsonian if you are, in fact, going to the Air and Space Museum. So, let's break it down by museum.

View Metro to the Mall in a larger map

American History: Get on the Blue or Orange Line and get off at Federal Triangle or Smithsonian stop. The Museum is slightly closer to the Smithsonian stop, but I prefer the Federal Triangle stop, especially if you have to push a stroller through the gravel of the Mall walkways. If you get off at Federal Triangle, when you take the escalator to the top, turn around, walk to 12th St, and take a right.

Natural History: If you are coming from the Blue/Orange line, then the same as above. If you have a stroller or wheelchair, I'd recommend using the Federal Triangle stop. The Constitution Ave entrance that you come to is handicap accessible, in a way that the Mall entrance very much is not. If you are riding the Yellow or Green Lines, you might want to save a transfer and get off at Navy Memorial/Archives. Upon exiting, walk straight to 9th street, cross Pennsylvania Ave, and walk south one block. The Natural History Museum will be across the street.

Smithsonian Castle, African Art Museum, Sackler Gallery, and the Freer Gallery: These are all readily accessible from the Smithsonian station. Use the Mall exit.

National Gallery of Art: The closest stop is the Archives/Navy Memorial. Do a 180 upon exiting, take a right on 7th, cross Pennsylvania and Constitution, and look up. That's the West Building. Any guesses as to which direction the East Building is from here? If you happen to be on the Blue/Orange line and don't feel like transferring, you can also get off at the L'Enfant Plaza stop and walk across the Mall. Use the 7th Street/Maryland Avenue exit. It's a little farther than Navy/Archives but you can save the hassle of transferring.

National Air and Space Museum: For all the lines (except Red) use the L'Enfant Plaza station. There are multiple exits to choose, so make sure you go to the 7th Street/Maryland Avenue exit. It is on the upper level above the Green/Yellow line tracks. Once above ground, walk up Maryland and take a left on 6th Street. Air and Space is one block directly ahead of you. For all six of you that might wish to visit the Hirshorn Gallery of Modern and Contemporary Art, use this exit as well, just walk up 7th Street instead of Maryland.

National Museum of the American Indian: Federal Center SW is the closest, a few blocks down 3rd St, but is only on the Blue/Orange Line. If you are on the Green/Yellow, walk a few blocks more down Maryland Ave, away from the Capitol.

We Landed on the Moon? That's Great!

It somehow escaped my attention, but this week is the fortieth anniversary of the moon landing. As might be expected the National Air and Space Museum, will celebrate this historic event with a day of festivities this Thursday, the 16th.

Countdown to Moon Day kicks off at 10 am. This celebration, which temporarily replaces the Museum's Mars Day! family day, will have a wide array of hands-on items, lectures, discussions with experts, and other activities. For the younger kids (3-6) the NASM will host Lunar story-time at 11 and 1:30 in the Looking At Earth gallery on the first floor. And, as always, be sure to touch one of two moon rocks in Washington, DC. Can anyone tell me where the other is?

If you are unable to make it Thursday, Apollo Astronauts Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins and Alan Bean will be having a book signing at the Museum this Saturday, the 19th from 11 to 2.

So, where do we eat? - On the Mall

View Larger Map

The National Mall is a great place to spend a day to Washington, as long as you don't get hungry. Most of the museums have food options; they're just expensive and, often, not very good. And nearby? Ha! We have the neoclassical Federal Triangle area to the north and the brutalist Southwest DC to the south. Notice how I fail to call them "neighborhoods". Neighborhoods imply the presence of "neighbors" or at least humanity. These are barren wastelands of government office buildings with nary a Starbucks in sight. I've seen folks get lost for days in the wilds of Federal Triangle, only to emerge clutching half gnawed bits of Spanish tile and asking "Why? Why, dear Lord, do they make it so hard to find something to eat?" I'm not kidding, it's not pretty.

What to do? If you don't want to have to barter your youngest for food, here are some options. Or, at the very least, some help on getting a good return on that child.

My Recommendations:

1. Department of Agriculture - You know, that big white building on the Mall that's NOT a museum? Back when the Agriculture was a major part of our economy, they got a prime spot on Independence Avenue and 14th. Ag may be the appendix of Cabinet Departments, but they have a good cafeteria. It's not anything special, except the food is reasonably priced, there's plenty of seating, and it's only a two minute walk from the Mall. Oh wait, that makes it pretty darned special around here.

To get in, you need to walk south of 12th St and then west on C ST SW (a right). It will be the second door on your right. You have to go through security; just tell them you're going to the cafeteria.

Hours: Breakfast 6:30 - 10:00 (Hot 7-9) Lunch 11:00 AM - 2:00 PM Coffee shop 2:00-3:30
Closed Weekends/Federal Holidays

2. National Museum of the American Indian - It's not cheap, but at least you get something for the experience. Far and away, the best museum food court in DC and, while I haven't visited all of them yet, I daresay the world. Each section represents a different region of Indians (Plains, Northwest, Mezo-American, etc.) and has food from that area. The buffalo chili on fry bread is a safe bet but this is a great place to get adventurous. It's going to cost you, but so would that Big Mac at Air and Space.

Hours: 10:00 AM - 5:15 PM

3. On the Fly Carts - Great local addition to the food cart scene. I've got nothing against the half-smoke vendors (except that their half-smokes are crap) but these guys prove that street vendor does not have to equal suck.

Hours: 11:00 AM -6:00 PM, weekends and holidays only

4. Natural History Museum - Fossil Cafe - Ok, it's no bargain and the food, while fine, is nothing special. I just like it as a quiet place to get a cup of coffee, until all of you tourists show up. It's back in the corner behind the dinosaurs, hence the name.

Hours 10:00 AM - 5:00 PM

5. Bring your own - Bring a picnic lunch. Technically, no food or drink is allowed in the museum and I certainly wouldn't recommend eating inside them, but most museums have bag checks. Just bring it and check it when you go in. Personally, I like the Haupt Garden behind the Castle.

Places that are fun because of where they are, not what they serve:

1. Smithsonian Castle
2. Museum of Natural History - Atrium Cafe
3. National Gallery of Art - neat places, but expensive

Do Not Recommend:

1. National Air and Space Museum - It's just McDonalds for twice the price. And hot, damn hot in the summer.
2. National Museum of American History - I hear it's finally open, but they're selling off-the-shelf pb&j for five bucks. When I take a look at it, I'll tell you how it is. Until then, I stand by my assessment.

By all means, if you know any more, add them in the comments. Or, if you want to quibble with me, please do so, but not about the Air and Space food court. That place sucks. If I were the Wright family I'd put up signs saying it's not named for us, it's those other Wrights from, um, New Mexico. So, if you like the Air and Space one, keep it to yourself.