Will no one think of the tourists! - What to do if stranded in DC

photo by Mike ShowalterI know, I know, I'm supposed to finish up my discussion of African Americans at Arlington. I'll get to it, but for those of you who may not be paying attention, those of us in DC have been a little busy recently. As I write this, the snow has started again here in the Nation's Capital, and supplies of milk and humor are running low. Fortunately, we're still have some reserve stocks of beer, or things could be looking desperate.

I spent the first few days of this white nightmare holed up in my friend's place in Maryland; after staging an impromptu reenactment of the fall of Saigon with my two kids, getting out of here as the storm hit. Thanks to them, I still can make at least a tenuous claim to sanity, but I couldn't avoid heading home forever. After a few days of hanging out with three dogs and five children under five, and passing the time shoveling four hundred feet of driveway; we took advantage of the brief window between blizzards to bust our way back into DC yesterday.

So what's this got to do with visiting DC? I mean, who would be trying to visit us right now? And even if you wanted to, it would be virtually impossible to get here, as my wife has been finding out this last week. But what if you're weekend trip to DC was this week, and you're spending some more time here than planned? This doesn't happen often, but what do you do in DC when all the stuff you came to DC for is canceled?

So, in the off chance some of our visitors are trying to make lemonade out of yellow snow, let me give them a hand.

1. Transportation - You brought it with you! That's right, those two appendages sticking down from your pelvis. Just about everything else is going to be shut down or unreliable. Buses go fairly early, outside some main routes. Metro rail will stay open until we get about eight inches, then the above-ground stations will shut down. Even on the underground lines, be prepared for some serious headways (time between trains). And you have very little business driving in DC in the best of times, much less now. Cabs will still run in most weather, but will be scarce. Watch the meter, they're not allowed to charge more than 25% in a snow emergency. So focus on exploring the area around where you're staying and/or near open Metro stops.

2. What's open? Right now, precious little. In most cases, once the above ground lines shut down, the museums will follow suit, as it's hard to get staff in and out. One exception I've noticed: the Newseum has been persistently open these last few days, and Air and Space and Natural History were open today. Everything else has been more or less shut down since Friday (feel free to let me know if I'm wrong in the comments). The monuments shut down during the heavy winds, but if you're up for a good winter hike, I strongly recommend a stroll down to see them. The Korean Memorial is particularly striking in the snow.

3. So, if all the touristy stuff is shut down, then what? Despite some well publicized problems, I strongly recommend a good snowball fight. If you can't get a pick-up one going, blogs and twitter feeds are a good way to find out where folks are meeting up. This time around, good ones got going at Dupont Circle, the Mall, and Lincoln Park on Capitol Hill. You can also grab a piece of cardboard and go sledding. I personally like Capitol Hill, a traditional favorite. The only trick is avoiding the Capitol Police. Some are cool, some are, well, not.

4. And finally, you'll need a place to warm up. I find that locally operated places tend to do a better job of staying open than chains and such. For example, my personal favorite, Peregrine Coffee near Eastern Market is routinely fueling my habit while the Starbucks a block over might as well board up. So rather than head downtown, try Eastern Market,Dupont Circle, or some other Metro accessible neighborhood where the most of both the clientele and the staff normally walks there (and will to get out of the house!).

Ideally, you're reading this back home in some relatively less snowy place like Buffalo, but if you are stuck in DC, I hope this helps.

The Nuts and Bolts of a Holocaust Museum Visit

Ok, we've talked about the Holocaust Memorial Museum in general terms, and we've gone into what we expect to see in the individual exhibits. Let's dig into those little logistical details that can make or break a visit anywhere, so we can dispense with this crap and spend our time focusing on what really matters.

First off, timing is important. No doubt, you're a faithful reader of DC Like a Local, and know to come to DC in the fall. However, perhaps due to circumstance out of your control, you happen to be visiting in the Spring. It's going to make a difference at the Holocaust Memorial Museum. Tickets to the Permanent Exhibit are required from March to August, and if you plan to be here then, try and order them ahead of time. Otherwise, no advance planning is required, other than making sure you have enough time.

Now, if all the tickets are sold out, don't despair. Only a portion of them are given away ahead of time; the remainder are available at the door starting at 10 am. A line will form an hour or so earlier, and if it's a very busy day (Cherry Blossom Festival, Memorial Day, etc.), you may consider joining it. However, I find that tickets are still available to 11, if not noon on most days. After the initial rush, ticket distribution moves indoors to the Information Desk in the main lobby (Hall of Witness on the maps). Either way, ask for the earliest tickets available (as you should do if you get them online as well). The great thing about the timed tickets at the Holocaust is that they're good for any time after the time on the ticket, as long as it's the same day. So if you score 11 am tickets, you can use them at 2 pm. No point on getting 3:45 tickets, then is there.

Now, it's important to note again that your tickets are only for the Permanent Exhibit. The Holocaust Memorial Museum itself does not require tickets, nor do the temporary exhibits, Daniel's Story, museum shop, or the cafe.

To get there, I strongly recommend the Metro, as parking nearby is scarce to nonexistent. The Orange/Blue lines stop a block away at the Smithsonian station. Follow the signs for the Department of Agriculture/Independence Ave exit, and when you get out walk straight along Independence one block (towards the Washington Monument), cross 14th ST, and walk half a block to your left. The general visitors line forms from one of the two entrances on 14th ST (hint: just get in the shorter one).

Tragically, we've all had a reminder as to why we need to go through security to enter. I personally find the security officers at the Holocaust Memorial Museum to be the most professional in DC, both in their thoroughness of ensuring our security and in the courtesy they extend to visitors. Help them out by having all electronic equipment (cell phone, cameras,etc.) out as well as any metal object. I leave change in my pocket and never set off the detectors. Incidentally, video/audio recording is not allowed, and photography is not permitted in the exhibit spaces.

You may wish to bring your camera for the Museum itself though, especially the Hall of Witness. It's an incredible building, and try to catch the presentation the staff puts together in the lobby. Look for the cart with the mock up of the building. It's a great discussion of how the design and architecture complements and reinforces your experience at the Museum. Be warned though, the design of the Museum is intended to jar you from your normal reality and separate you from your experience of walking the streets of Washington. At times, you will feel herded, crowded, and dislocated. This is not accidental, so be ready for it, especially if you are traveling in a group or with kids. Plan on meeting up back in the lobby if you get separated, and give everyone a time to meet.

If you plan on visiting the Museum around breakfast or lunch you have a couple of options. The Museum Cafe is quite good, if a bit pricey. It is vegetarian, and has kosher meals, naturally. To get there, exit the building through the rear entrance, walk across the plaza to the red brick building to your right, and go in. You will have to go through security again, but normally just takes a second. To return to the museum proper, you're supposed to go back to the 14th St entrance, but often a security guard at the rear, group entrance will give you a break. If you're looking for another option, I recommend the Department of Agriculture cafeteria a couple of blocks down C St, across 14th. 

And finally, let's touch on the most asked question of any tour to the Holocaust Memorial Museum: where are the bathrooms? Let me say this. I think James Ingo Freed is a genius. The way he uses architecture to heighten and enhance the telling of a profound story in many ways, both great and subtle, is incredible. No other museum in Washington is so sympathetic and compatible with its subject matter. But, for the love is all that is good, could the man just put a bathroom on the first floor? Would that have killed the art?

It's down the stairs to the left.

Boozing it up on H Street.

As I read through the last few months of posts, it's come to my attention that while I've written many a post about what to do with kids while visiting DC, I've paid relatively little attention to the very real needs of those that might visit Washington without kids, or for those fortunate souls who have babysitters.

A such, my very good friend David has graciously agreed to provide a bit of a guide to one of the more exciting local nightspots. Sad to say, David at times imagines things that just didn't happen, but his observations are apt and H Street, Northeast really is a fun place to have a beer or ten.

by David Brunton

I've heard it called many things- "Atlas District" or "SoFlo" (apparently that meant "South of Florida" during the height of the real-estate bubble), but we all call it just plain H Street. If
you're an out-of-towner, bear with me for just a couple paragraphs of local lore, before I dive into the mechanics of the perfect pub crawl on H Street.

In 1968, H Street was hit hard. It took forty years for the last burned-out-shells to be taken down, and even now there are a few empty lots and a couple pretty decrepit addresses. But thanks to a great deal of local effort on the part of folks who live, work, and own on H
Street, it's now a pretty damn fine pub crawl, replete with plenty of local color.

Which brings me to the start of the evening. The Argonaut is one of Saint Joe Englert's bars. Locals know him as "that guy who owns those bars." I imagine some half dozen of the places we'll visit (read: crawl to) are his. Argonaut is a great starting place, for a number of reasons. For instance, when your intrepid editor and I went on our first pub crawl, we chanced upon a woman (or she chanced upon us) who, after trying to convince us we were tourists, proceeded to expose a perfectly lovely pair of C-or-possibly-D cups.

They have beer and stuff, and the food is great, and did I mention she just pulled up her shirt and said, "What do you think of these?" I had no idea anyone in DC had that kind of creativity. Tim didn't even flinch, but my jaw definitely dropped, and I stared.

Okay, four paragraphs in, and I'm still on the first pub. Walk a block down, go into Sova. Go upstairs, have some wine, before you get totally plastered. Oh, and you probably should have eaten at The Argonaut while you were there, but if you didn't, not to worry, we're making our way down to Taylor later in the evening.

Leaving Sova, there's a whole strip of places to visit, in random order. If it's Tuesday, start with the Pug. Two bucks for domestic beer on Tuesday. If it's early in the week, it's also probably worth visiting Granville Moore's, but only if there's not a huge long wait, and only if you love frites and only if you're not already too drunk to enjoy a beer like Fantome, after which you will be too drunk to enjoy anything more at Granville Moore's for sure, so stumble on back out.

In this little strip, make sure to hit Palace of Wonders, The Red and the Black, and (if you must) grab some tater tots at Sticky Rice. It's worth mentioning that the shows at Palace of Wonders are awesome. Have you ever seen that show Carnivale on HBO? Like that without all the bad guys.

If you're still thirsty, or if you didn't get stuck in one of those places (all easy to get stuck in), you now face a choice. Chill out with a martini, and probably some karaoke at H Street Martini Lounge, or pop across the street to the H Street Country Club and play some mini golf while munching on Tex-Mex. I haven't been to the latter, but I've seen the pictures, and I bet it's going to be awesome. (Ed note: H Street Country Club is open since David sent me this post. He's right; it is awesome. You can drink beer and play 9 holes of mini-golf upstairs.)

Okay, at this point in the night (and believe me, it's later than you think), you're getting hungry. Taylor Gourmet to the rescue. Go eat a Philadelphia Land Fill. Seriously. Their website says they're only open 'til 9PM, but I've heard they're going to start being open way late at least on weeknights. If you're still not done, stumble down to Pap and Petey's and finish your night there listening to music. If you're still not done after that, knock back a couple eight balls and pass out somewhere. You probably won't
be the only one.

Now, a few logistics. How to get to Argonaut to start your night. You can take the metro to the Stadium/Armory stop and just walk, or take the bus from there. You can take the H Street Shuttle. You can't drive, because you are going there to drink, and parking isn't great, and your car will get stolen. But someone could drop you off. Last, but not least, if you're super adventurous, just hop on the X2 city
bus.

At the end of your night, you're pretty close to Union Station, and you can get in a cab there. You can also take that shuttle back if you're in no shape to walk. Hell, I've even heard there are cabs that will venture down H Street now. Who knew?

An open apology to the citizens and visitors of Washington - the Archives

Let me get this off my chest. One of the time honored reasons to visit Washington, DC, the National Archives, is almost unavailable six months of the year because of me, and those like me. The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights are all housed in the here; some might even call it our National Treasure. In addition to being protected by a titanium, aluminum, and glass encasement, surrounded by argon gas, and guarded by armed guards, the Charters of Freedom, as they are often collectively called, enjoy one additional protection from the casual tourist: the incredibly long lines of school kids brought to the Archives by jackass tour guides, such as myself.

Now, as far as seeing the Charters go, I offer no apology. It's their Democracy too, and perhaps it's even more important that the jaded eighth grader see these documents than those of us who already know their importance. Which, incidentally, is why I value National Treasure, the movie. While making no pretense towards actual history, it provides an "in" for my school kids; a gateway to make connections to a test question answer they may have never really pondered.

No, my apology to you is that these same school kids prevent you from sampling so much else that is available at the Archives. For myself, after I release the kids to wait in the line for the Rotunda (where the Charters are displayed), I duck into the Public Vaults exhibit. It's a well crafted permanent display of a small sample of some of the other 9 million records the Archives keep. As a former Naval Officer, I am still struck dumb by the deck log of the USS Nevada, opened to December 7th, 1941. Every time I've seen it, it brings home the reality of that day in a way some multi-million dollar Hollywood extravagance never has (and no, I will not link to THAT movie). Having signed hundreds of deck logs in my time, it still gives me the chills when I see how little has changed. Except, of course, I wasn't dodging torpedo bombers when I filled out mine.

The Archives also puts together top-rate temporary exhibits. Big!, opening this weekend, celebrates the Archives 75th anniversary and large items from our history, including a 13 foot scroll of the Articles of Confederation. I'm looking forward to seeing the giant map of Gettysburg and I'll tell you how it is once I've seen it. The archives has a nice little theater downstairs, as well, and I particularly like the cafeteria. Nothing special, and it's not really big enough for me to bring groups to, but it's good for a family looking to get a reasonable bite to eat. And check out the Boeing Learning Center, it's got a lot of interesting activities for middle and high school students.

I'll also note that the Archives has a procedure for making reservations. One of the first things I do when I get my tour group's itinerary is to see if I have a reservation for the Archives. It makes life so much easier. I've never attempted to do this for an individual or a family group, but if someone does, let me know how it works.

So, I am sorry that you have to wait in that God-awful line to see the other excellent exhibits at the National Archives. I wish they had a separate "Rotunda" line, for those seeing the Charters. But if you happen to be walking by and there's no one out front, take a few minutes to duck in and see the rest of the Archives. Yes, even if you've already seen the Declaration of Independence.

So, where do we eat? - the Zoo

View Larger Map

Now the National Zoo is an amazing deal: a world class zoo and they don't charge a nickel. But no one ever comes back from there going "What great food! And so appropriately priced!". I mean, the Panda Grill? I was so disappointed when I learned they don't even serve real pandas. I would have even been fine with red pandas. It didn't even have to be the giant panda. But no, something about "endangered species" and all.

So, when you're heading to the zoo, be prepared and bring a picnic lunch. If time or opportunity to prepare ahead elude you, here are a few options:

If you hit the right time of the year, the On the Fly Karts will be out and about. The first one will be there this weekend, with another following in early April. Look for full weekday service to begin around mid-April. As I've mentioned previously, these guys are a great addition to the DC vending scene and I enjoyed them at zoo last year. I like just about everything about them, except the weird predilection for spelling "cart" with a "K".

Now, if you miss the Karts, the only other thing in the immediate vicinity is the Starbucks outside the gates, which has standard Starbucks stuff. Not a bad option, and it certainly beats the crap inside, but we can do better.

I'm assuming you took my advice and got off at Cleveland Park and not Woodley. If you didn't, then, as added penance, your only option is the McDonald's on Connecticut Ave. Maybe next time you will listen to me. This is how we learn.

At the Cleveland Park stop, we have a bit more to choose from. Across the street is Byblos Deli, which has a full menu of Mediterranean options. The food is good and inexpensive. I'm no vegetarian, but I usually end up getting a falafal pita for about five bucks. If you regard this as a bit too adventurous, Byblos offers hamburgers and more traditional sandwiches.

But if that's your taste, I'd stay on the east side and stop in at Vace Italian Deli as you head down Connecticut. Besides pizza by the slice, they have a good selection of subs and focaccia bread sandwiches. I'm particularly partial to the Italian Cold Cut here, but then again, I am anywhere else as well.

But for picnics to the Zoo, I almost always just go to Magruders Grocery Store and get a selection of items. Magruders anchors the north end of the shopping center you see as you exist the Metro and has been in operation for over 130 years, although obviously not in this location the whole time.

While these are the one's I'd particularly like, there's also several other options nearby. California Tortilla and Yes! Organic Market come to mind.

Now when you get to the zoo, then what? The National Zoo specifically allows picnicking. You may bring coolers, but no grills or cooking devices. Really? Did that need to be said? Also, no hunting the animals. You've been warned.

My second, third, and fourth favorite spots to eat are the Panda Cafe overlooking the pandas, by the Great Ape house to catch an orangutan on the O-line, and the lawn near the Big Cat exhibit. I'm not telling you my favorite because I don't want all of you mucking it up. I'm serious, I can't give out all of my hiding spots. Now go look at a gorilla or something and let me take a nap. Enjoy!