I know, I know. I'm full of advice on off the beaten path treasures, quirky little museums, and other idiosyncratic items. I'd rather spend the day hanging out on Capitol Hill, wandering around Dupont Circle, or eating in Adams Morgan.
But that's not why you are here. You came to visit Washington, DC. That means the stuff on the back of the money. And I don't blame you, if you go back home and tell everyone you went to the nation's capital and did not see the Lincoln Memorial, they're going smile, and nod, and then politely say "that's nice". But then they're going to remark to each other when you leave the room "they went all that way and didn't see old Abe?" So to save you that unfortunate social awkwardness, let me share with you my standard walking tour of the major DC Memorials:
View Bathrooms of the National Mall in a larger map
But wait! Isn't that just your "Bathrooms of the National Mall" map? Are you honestly just passing that off as a tour of the monuments? Are you the laziest guy in the known world, or just the greater DC area?
Yes, yes, and yes. But, in my defense, you don't really need a map to find the Washington Monument, and you just might happen to need a bathroom as we stroll about. So for the next four days, we're going to examine in greater detail the four Presidential Memorials on the Mall. And we're going to follow the same route as the "bathroom" tour. I'll share with you tips and techniques for getting the most out of each of them, some great stories behind them, and maybe prepare you for a few urban legends you are likely to hear about them.
So find your most obscene T-shirt, your largest fold out map (doesn't have to be DC), some widely inappropriate footwear, and let's go be tourists!